A Word & A Song

Hello & happy 2018!!!

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Original source unknown

I do love the start of a new year-empty page, blank canvas and the rest of those similar metaphors.  I feel energized to tackle the items I did not take care of last month due to my end-of- the-year inevitable slowdown so I could divert my energy to all things holiday.  But yesterday I started  making my to-do lists again and I am eagerly looking forward to crossing off my completed tasks.

What I do not do, however, is make resolutions.  I learned a long time ago that word just sets me up for failure and I had enough of that when I tried to learn geometry in high school.  I do better by breaking the year up into four quarters and make a couple of goals to finish by the end of each one.  They range from choosing a vacation spot and putting a budget in place for it to listing some unwanted items on ebay to trying a DIY project or new recipe.

I am aware of the recent trend to pick a word to live by in the new year.  Way too much of a commitment for me, but if I use the same principal as above and choose a word for each quarter, then I will have four words for the year which is a lot more doable for me.

Grace

Original source unknown

My word for the first quarter of 2018 is grace.  I consider myself a kind and empathetic person so I usually have no problem showing it to others.  Of course, giving it to someone who intentionally hurts me is much harder to do, so I need to work on that.  But where I fail over and over again is honoring myself with the same favor.  I am so critical, so neglectful, so inpatient and so hard on my psyche that I need to just find a way to finally silence those disparaging, mean and useless voices.  I tell other people this but I need to remind myself as well that I am more than enough and that everything will be OK.

To help with this, I am using positive reinforcement.  I am going to give myself a song each week with a great message to remind me to show myself that grace.  Since I love music so very much, I feel like this is a total win-win.  This idea came to me two weeks ago when I was sitting in the Walter Kerr Theater for the Boss’s Broadway show.  As usual, his words hit that part of my soul that brings it peace.  That whispers to my heart that as long as I hear his voice, I am home.  And I belong.  In the same world that includes him.  And my heart is full again and ready to inhale and keep moving forward.  So when he got to this verse, I quietly sang right along with him:

Blow away the dreams that tear you apart
Blow away the dreams that break your heart
Blow away the lies that leave you nothing but lost and brokenhearted.”

Bruce Springsteen:  “The Promised Land“.

What do you do to motivate you?

I do not own the rights to anything.  I am just sharing some things that I love with you   🙂

Until next time, happy digging!!!

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25 Days Of Christmas Music: Day 25

Merry Christmas, Vixens!!!  Buon Natale to my fellow Italians!!!  Welcome back to the countdown.

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(Original source unknown)

Let me begin by thanking all of you for your support not only over this last month, but throughout the year.  Having the chance to do what I love is a blessing in more ways than one.  This outlet centers me and keeps me focused on what is important when the ballast of every day living threatens to take over more often than it should.  I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday & a Happy (& Blessed) New Year.

I will leave you with the final song of the Christmas music countdown along with a bonus song to begin 2018 as I take a break to recharge my batteries and relax for the last week of the year.

For the final Christmas song, I chose one by a singer who defines the Christmas season with his classic version of “The Christmas Song“.  With today’s pick, he sings a song celebrating the arrival of earth’s King.  In par with yesterday’s song, this tune celebrates the religious holiday as it is based on two Bible passages:  Genesis 3:17-18 and Psalm 98, 96:11-12.

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Nat King Cole (original source unknown)

Nat King Cole:  “Joy To The World

For the new year, my hope and wish is the same every year.  Maybe one day, peace will be a reality.  Here’s to 2018!!!

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Richard Marx (L) & Kenny Loggins (R) (original source unknown)

Richard Marx & Kenny Loggins:  “Let There Be Peace On Earth

I do not own the rights to anything.  I am just sharing some things that I love with you   🙂

Until next time, fellow Vixens, happy listening!!!

peace

(original source unknown)

“Another Year Over, A New One Just Begun…..”

Hello, Vixens!!!  Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, happy holiday or just time to yourself, depending on what or how you celebrated.  It is always mind boggling to me that with all the months and weeks of preparation, the festivities just fly by!!!

Like so many of us tend to do this time of year, I find myself looking back on the year we are about to say goodbye to as I plan and hope for the new one ahead.  But in looking back, my memories wander past 2015 to so many other years gone by and the precious pieces of time those years have taken with them.

I wonder how it is possible that I am now older than my mother was when she died at the young age of 36.  Or that even though my dad lived to be twice her age, these last four years without him have been the loneliest I have ever known.  And how much I miss calling my paternal grandmother every night despite the fact that she died 14 years ago.  Some habits just do not go quietly.

My parents at their engagement party in 1961 & on their wedding day in May 1962.

I know a lot of people who say they feel their loved ones around them and that is a comfort.  I long for that feeling.  For me, the pain of my losses is so real and present every single day I feel more like John Nash (who died this year) in “A Beautiful Mind”, minus the mental illness induced hallucinations, of course.  My family is real, they are just not here anymore.  But I feel as if they are following me around like Nash’s imagined college roommate Charles did.  I can talk to my family in my head and imagine what they would say, but they ignore me the way Nash had to ignore Charles for his own good.  But how heartbreaking was it when Nash confessed to his wife,  “sometimes I really miss talking to him.”

My family does not ignore me intentionally, it is just a result of the veil that separates our roads.  I may see them, or hear them, and I know they are there, yet there is no way to touch them or feel them.  And sometimes the need to do that is so overwhelming I cannot breathe, which almost makes me wish they would just disappear for a minute or two so I could catch my breath.

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My paternal grandparents on their wedding day in April 1934.  Unfortunately I never knew my grandfather , but my grandmother (Idie) raised me after my mother died. 

But like Nash, I always see them and it is up to me to know that some days will be worse than others.  And on the really bad days, I have to close my eyes to my family just to get through.  But eventually I will have to open my eyes again and when I do, I see that veil that stands between us so clearly.  They may be my family but heartbreakingly, they are in my past and as Nash said about his hallucinations, “They are my past. Everyone is haunted by their past.”  Incredibly big sigh.

Thank you all for being a part of my past year on this blog.  Your support means so much to me and I sincerely hope you will continue with me in the future.  I wish you all love, blessings, luck, happiness, health, great music and great finds in the year ahead and beyond!!!

Here is my last song recommendation for 2015.

Enjoy!!!

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